Juicy Questions

It’s pretty darned hard to miss the flashing ads and headlines that remind me, and all of us, that this is the time for resolve, discipline, will power. My own natural desire  to get more in touch with my healthy body through diet and exercise at this time of year always finds plenty of support from the culture around me. I don’t mind riding that wave. But anybody at my gym will tell you that the new spurt of activity lasts about six weeks.

What makes it stick is when I dip deeply to discover what’s been in the way of change.  I’ve discovered for myself that  any resolutions for the new year just don’t take unless I spend some time thinking about where I’ve been, getting my bearings for what’s ahead.

Because the unquestioned past seems to have a way of becoming in the future. 

So I’m planning on spending a little time every day  to remember where I’ve been. Where did I “forget” my resolutions? What got in the way. When I’m on my game, I keep a food and exercise journal. When I’m not, I have amnesia. So looking over old journals provides a clue.

When I connect the dots to past sabotage, I seem to always discover  that I have made bigger breakthroughs when I’ve questioned the thoughts that have held me prisoner. This helps me to get my bearings for what’s ahead. I remember what I easily forget: that clarity comes when I listen within.

This interior process can continue  into the winter months and matches perfectly the weather reports urging me to “stay home.” The pay-off is often enormous connection with that source, the fuse that powers real change.

In about a month, I’ll be offering group classes in inquiry  from the virtual Oasis. We’ll be listening together for what replenishes and to question what gets in the way of living the life we’re called to live. I’m excited to share the process with others who want to explore together the deepening journey. I’m curious about what will show up as we gather up together to find our own kindest truths and live them in our lives.

Join us if you can, and if you can’t, I’ll share what we’re learning together here in the blog space.
For now, what are your ways of preparing for the new year? How do you call yourself home from the chaos of the holidays? What thoughts or beliefs would you like to explore in the coming months? I’m curious.

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Last week I  co-hosted a cross cultural dialogue with Balinese visiting San Francisco. The focus was on Tri Hita Karuna, the ancient principle of balancing relationships with community, spirit, and nature. When I asked a beautiful Balinese singer to share. she said,

“All this talking and talking makes our heads explode.”

Then she led a long, lovely chant.  A sense of connection with each other, with the world, with spirit, saturated the room. We were singing our world back in balance.

It was a powerful moment  for me, a lifelong talkaholic. Later she apologized for NOT talking, saying it was impossible to express an IDEA about something so real. Her invocation simply and profoundly made it clear.  Ayu Lakshmi is her name, and, as an architect as well as a singer, she’s not a stranger to Western ways. She was simply and deeply clear about what things are expressible and what things aren’t.

The sharing resumed as we explored ways to bring indigenous wisdom of the Bali into our own lives and worlds. This is the  focus for the sponsoring organization, Bali Institute for Global Renewal. The harvest of ideas included creating and celebrating community, time in nature, honoring the everyday sacred in life through awareness and gratitude.

At the end of the evening, as we pitched in to clean up, there were no exploded heads in site.

Just some questions to share.

Where do you feel in balance in your life?

When you think of your relationship with nature, others, and spirit, what needs attention?

What relationships nurture you ? How do you nurture them back?

What one area could you give attention to today to bring balance back into your life? A talk with a dear friend? A walk in the park? A quiet time to pray or meditate?

Where does your head explode? What concrete thing could you do today to change that?

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Peace Beyond Belief

June 22, 2010Byron Katie's Work
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I’m about to head off for a 5-day retreat at my favorite hot springs. (Here in Oregon at this time of year, hot springs are perfect because we’re still in our long spring season). I’m preparing the materials, going to the Farmer’s Market for local flowers, flowing from here in the valley to there in the mountains.
Peaceful. As long as I remember to notice when beliefs would pull me out of the flow.

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Acceptance or Connection?

April 27, 2010Approval

What’s the difference between a desire for approval (a strategy for gaining acceptance) and a desire for connection? I’ve been sitting with this question during the past week.
Here are some of the what I’ve noticed, in the form of “Questions to Self.”
Where’s my focus? A dead give away. If it’s on others, I’m usually thinking about what they expect of me. Is it on my own sense peace and well-being? It’s connection.

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“Personalities don’t love…they want something” Byron Katie

April 8, 2010Approval

This week I’ve been noticing when I use my well-honed charm and persuasive personality to get something from other people. Something like approval. Appreciation. Respect. Income.

Something like love. But, I notice, it’s not love. It’s about me. When I put on my “look goods,” I’ve found, I can get the approval I think I crave. But there’s always something missing. I tend to believe, deep down inside, that they’re buying my act. And then I need to keep acting or manipulating to get more of it.

It’s an expensive addiction.

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When am I a tap-dancing clown?

January 18, 2010Juicy Questions
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I saw the new year in again this year with Byron Katie and friends at an annual event called the Cleanse. I think of it as a thought cleanse, and I’ve been “cleaning” thoughts ever since. I have so many opportunities, I notice, as I watch my knickers get all twisted and do a little [...]

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From Full Sun to Full Moon

December 2, 2009Juicy Questions
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This last month I disappeared from life as I typically know it to celebrate a big anniversary with my husband across the planet and South a little.  We just returned from Bali, Indonesia, a couple of days ago, and I’m still waiting for all my brain cells to arrive. I spent Thanksgiving feasting on babek [...]

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Is it true?

November 4, 2009Confusion to Clarity

This is the 24 carat question. It’s truly astounding to me how often I don’t stop to ask it, even after more than five years of inquiry where this is the first question (The Work of Byron Katie).  The more mindful of my choices I become, the more assumptions I notice I have about the [...]

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Juicy Question Collection Project

October 7, 2009Juicy Questions

A couple of weeks ago I started a personal inquiry process to begin “living the questions,”  I began with the question Who am I right now? Since then I’ve brought the question out of my pocket at least a dozen times.  I mean that literally.  I wrote it on a little sticky and carried it [...]

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Indian Summer, Wabi Sabi, Seasonal Questions

October 2, 2009Juicy Questions
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We call it Indian Summer. The light at this time of year is slanted.  Just a few days ago light and dark were in perfect balance. It’s a time between worlds, a perfect time to catch up with yourself. The Japanese have a word to describe the deep yearning that autumn brings. Wabi sabi. It’s [...]

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Living the Questions

September 21, 2009Getting Unstuck

Many years ago I came across these words by Rainier Maria Rilke, in his Letter to a Young Poet: “Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” I’ve been compiling a list of questions that I love to ask [...]

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